Leaving Laos; Vagueness - 8/1
_
Cable found, laptop renewed, faith restored, foot (almost)
better, mojo found, and sunshine out, as this is being written more cylinders
are firing than a drag car with a jet engine.
I have left Laos. Like the stark mountains and flat paddy fields which are strewn across the country, it has given out more than its fair share of ups and downs. Due to a fire, the cable for the laptop upon which I write was damaged, the reason why correspondence has been lacking. I also broke my Nikkon D80 DSLR, one of my most prized possessions. At home, has been taken seriously ill. I fractured my foot, cut my head, and had a bit of a near-death experience.
On the flip side, I have met numerous fantastic people, bumped into friends from Korea, seen some of the most amazing sights of my life, partied harder than Prince ever could, soaked up sun like a honky sponge, had some delightful sexy time, and met some of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure of coming across.
Now I am writing en route through Thailand, the first three shops I saw being a 7/11, Tesco and KFC. It feels like I have stepped into another world just by crossing a bridge.
Back at the Mekong, the bungalow which I aforementioned in blog prior, provided a welcome river-side home for four nights. Don Det, in 4000 islands, southern Laos, provided a location of absolute bliss – it was the first place I’d been to on my travels where it was difficult to detect any potential tosspot. There was plenty of good conversation to be had, either with Eivan the stoned Norwegian, Liam the Beijing-based American teacher, Denis the stuttering Dane or Twack and Emmett, who although being 19 and 20 respectively, and having ridiculous names, were matured beyond their years.
On the first day there, we attempted to hire Kayaks to explore the island. We failed. Instead, we got dragged out by boat ‘6km’ (more like four) upstream on ‘tubes’ (rubber rings, for the benefit of folks back home). As we floated down the river in the hot hot sun, the boat driver happily buggered off, only to return with a chilled bottle of Beer Lao each for us to sup as we lazily meandered downstream.
I have left Laos. Like the stark mountains and flat paddy fields which are strewn across the country, it has given out more than its fair share of ups and downs. Due to a fire, the cable for the laptop upon which I write was damaged, the reason why correspondence has been lacking. I also broke my Nikkon D80 DSLR, one of my most prized possessions. At home, has been taken seriously ill. I fractured my foot, cut my head, and had a bit of a near-death experience.
On the flip side, I have met numerous fantastic people, bumped into friends from Korea, seen some of the most amazing sights of my life, partied harder than Prince ever could, soaked up sun like a honky sponge, had some delightful sexy time, and met some of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure of coming across.
Now I am writing en route through Thailand, the first three shops I saw being a 7/11, Tesco and KFC. It feels like I have stepped into another world just by crossing a bridge.
Back at the Mekong, the bungalow which I aforementioned in blog prior, provided a welcome river-side home for four nights. Don Det, in 4000 islands, southern Laos, provided a location of absolute bliss – it was the first place I’d been to on my travels where it was difficult to detect any potential tosspot. There was plenty of good conversation to be had, either with Eivan the stoned Norwegian, Liam the Beijing-based American teacher, Denis the stuttering Dane or Twack and Emmett, who although being 19 and 20 respectively, and having ridiculous names, were matured beyond their years.
On the first day there, we attempted to hire Kayaks to explore the island. We failed. Instead, we got dragged out by boat ‘6km’ (more like four) upstream on ‘tubes’ (rubber rings, for the benefit of folks back home). As we floated down the river in the hot hot sun, the boat driver happily buggered off, only to return with a chilled bottle of Beer Lao each for us to sup as we lazily meandered downstream.
Me Kong - You King
_
After a battle against the current to land on the beach (I
never realised such great beaches were possible on the banks of rivers), we
headed off like a keen executioner to a place called the ‘VegePatch’, an
organic farm ran by a French-Australian couple, who, for 50,000 kip (£5, $8)
provide homemade pizzas and brownies, fresh home-grown salads and all the
mojitos you can embibe. It was here I met Raissa.
Noticing a football, we gathered an international crew of 5-a-side footballers and climbed into the shit-strewn rice fields to indulge in some cross-continental competition. As anyone from Inter Suwon will tell you, I am not known for my ball skills and finishing, but this day, a little bit drunk, a little bit stoned, I was literally on the ball. After completing our resounding victory, Raissa approached me and asked: “Where are you from?” I replied truthfully, and asked her in return, to which she replied “Brazilia”, in a flowing Portugese accent. Later, after drinks and perfect sunset at a private beach, she informed me that I was man of the match, and as a result was entitled to be her one night stand. Score.
The Mekong is the 10th largest river in the world. It meanders through six countries and caresses the length of the spine of Laos. It became a familiar sight, and at this point in Southern Laos, it is towards its most potent. During my stay on 4000 islands, it provided me with some of the best swimming, diving and waterfalls I have ever experienced. Although I was dreading the prospect of being far from the sea, it turned out to provide some of the best sights possible. Now, it is currently the dry season, so it flows at a considerably lower depth than in the wet season. Li Phi falls are touted to be amongst the biggest in Asia, and although they were considerable and powerful examples of nature, they didn’t seem that big. By looking at the watermark, however, it is apparent that at their fullest these falls are around 40 feet deeper, and must become churning behemoths, capable of sweeping aside whatever befalls its path.
Noticing a football, we gathered an international crew of 5-a-side footballers and climbed into the shit-strewn rice fields to indulge in some cross-continental competition. As anyone from Inter Suwon will tell you, I am not known for my ball skills and finishing, but this day, a little bit drunk, a little bit stoned, I was literally on the ball. After completing our resounding victory, Raissa approached me and asked: “Where are you from?” I replied truthfully, and asked her in return, to which she replied “Brazilia”, in a flowing Portugese accent. Later, after drinks and perfect sunset at a private beach, she informed me that I was man of the match, and as a result was entitled to be her one night stand. Score.
The Mekong is the 10th largest river in the world. It meanders through six countries and caresses the length of the spine of Laos. It became a familiar sight, and at this point in Southern Laos, it is towards its most potent. During my stay on 4000 islands, it provided me with some of the best swimming, diving and waterfalls I have ever experienced. Although I was dreading the prospect of being far from the sea, it turned out to provide some of the best sights possible. Now, it is currently the dry season, so it flows at a considerably lower depth than in the wet season. Li Phi falls are touted to be amongst the biggest in Asia, and although they were considerable and powerful examples of nature, they didn’t seem that big. By looking at the watermark, however, it is apparent that at their fullest these falls are around 40 feet deeper, and must become churning behemoths, capable of sweeping aside whatever befalls its path.
Laoser
Kong Lo cave is 7.5km in length. Through the central
passage, a river runs, meandering underneath 700 metres of pure rock. It is
most accessible by boat, as it is deep in parts. It lies a good 15 hours drive
north of 4000 islands, near a small village. On the journey there, I met Lars
and Kristina, a wonderful German couple (with great senses of humour) and
together we went exploring. Now, caves usually rekindle my youth and inspire a
sense of adventure, but after entering through a blue blue lagoon by boat, the
torch I broke off a lighter and the boat drivers headlamp provided scarce
light.
The cave began to get smaller and smaller, and a sudden sense of claustrophobia began to overwhelm me. Sitting at the front, panic began to rise, an absolutely stupid feeling. Then, it occurred to me, Kristina behind me is a biologist, and Lars behind her is a Psychotherapist. Really, for getting caught out in this situation there are far, far worse people to be with.
The boat trickled around a bend into an almighty cavern, lights and all, at a height of perhaps 100 metres. It was breathtaking, and although the rest of the route was not lit, the sheer size of the belly, and I suppose intestine, was mammoth throughout, the roof sometimes looking the Queen’s nest in ‘Aliens’.
After the journey was over, my passion for caves somewhat dwindled. Never again will I be in a hollow of such magnificent structure.
The cave began to get smaller and smaller, and a sudden sense of claustrophobia began to overwhelm me. Sitting at the front, panic began to rise, an absolutely stupid feeling. Then, it occurred to me, Kristina behind me is a biologist, and Lars behind her is a Psychotherapist. Really, for getting caught out in this situation there are far, far worse people to be with.
The boat trickled around a bend into an almighty cavern, lights and all, at a height of perhaps 100 metres. It was breathtaking, and although the rest of the route was not lit, the sheer size of the belly, and I suppose intestine, was mammoth throughout, the roof sometimes looking the Queen’s nest in ‘Aliens’.
After the journey was over, my passion for caves somewhat dwindled. Never again will I be in a hollow of such magnificent structure.
You Tube
_Jai Dee is 30. He runs a popular in Vang Vieng, the town
associated with what is probably the most hedonistic place in all of Asia. Countless tourists a day head upriver to begin a float down on a tube, stopping one of 10 bars on the way.
The final destination is the town itself, if the ‘tubee’ makes it that far. Most don’t. Jai Dee’s bar, although in the centre of the town, is a little bit out of the way, and doesn’t play Friends, Family Guy or terrible music as the vast majority of the other bars do. He has children, a wife, and runs his bar successfully. He tells me, over a free whiskey and M150 (a red bull substitute that apparently contains amphetamines) that he wakes every day in the morning, drinks alcohol and smokes a pill of ‘Yabba’ (crystal meth combined with caffeine and other stimulants) before beginning his days work. He states that, in a year, he probably has 30 days off alcohol.
What I find fascinating is, this man (after confirmed reports from his staff and customers) is a drug and alcohol addict, yet looks well, is friendly and charismatic and supports and raises a family. His teeth aren’t stained or missing, his skin isn’t tight or wiry, and he claims to have been like this since he was 15.
Vang Vieng is a notorious tourist destination as it attracts whole legions of drunk, young westerners. They dawn on the place to party, see the mountains, party, party and then party some more, complete with marker pen writing all over their exposed skin. To commemorate these ‘achievements’, nearly everyone buys tubing singlets, a common sight across south east Asia. I did not. I think they look shit.
However, I did try the standard practise there of self-committed internal combustion. Twice. The first time, starting at around 12 30, I only managed four bars on the river in a six hour session. The second time, I got further. To gain entrance to the bars, a rope is thrown into the river and you are pulled in. You are given free shots. The music loud and awful, in most bars. Drugs are rife in the town, sold over the bar. Most of the bars have activities such as volleyball, rope swing, slide, zipline or even a giant inflatable platform. One person perches on the edge while another jumps from a height onto the inflatable, catapulting the frontal person high and then down into the water. The river is low in the dry season. Quite simply, people die at this place. Regularly. It is here where I burned my head attempting fire limbo and fractured my foot, just by walking though. Watch this below to see what sheer idiocy occurs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgMMKnGB3HY&feature=related
The final destination is the town itself, if the ‘tubee’ makes it that far. Most don’t. Jai Dee’s bar, although in the centre of the town, is a little bit out of the way, and doesn’t play Friends, Family Guy or terrible music as the vast majority of the other bars do. He has children, a wife, and runs his bar successfully. He tells me, over a free whiskey and M150 (a red bull substitute that apparently contains amphetamines) that he wakes every day in the morning, drinks alcohol and smokes a pill of ‘Yabba’ (crystal meth combined with caffeine and other stimulants) before beginning his days work. He states that, in a year, he probably has 30 days off alcohol.
What I find fascinating is, this man (after confirmed reports from his staff and customers) is a drug and alcohol addict, yet looks well, is friendly and charismatic and supports and raises a family. His teeth aren’t stained or missing, his skin isn’t tight or wiry, and he claims to have been like this since he was 15.
Vang Vieng is a notorious tourist destination as it attracts whole legions of drunk, young westerners. They dawn on the place to party, see the mountains, party, party and then party some more, complete with marker pen writing all over their exposed skin. To commemorate these ‘achievements’, nearly everyone buys tubing singlets, a common sight across south east Asia. I did not. I think they look shit.
However, I did try the standard practise there of self-committed internal combustion. Twice. The first time, starting at around 12 30, I only managed four bars on the river in a six hour session. The second time, I got further. To gain entrance to the bars, a rope is thrown into the river and you are pulled in. You are given free shots. The music loud and awful, in most bars. Drugs are rife in the town, sold over the bar. Most of the bars have activities such as volleyball, rope swing, slide, zipline or even a giant inflatable platform. One person perches on the edge while another jumps from a height onto the inflatable, catapulting the frontal person high and then down into the water. The river is low in the dry season. Quite simply, people die at this place. Regularly. It is here where I burned my head attempting fire limbo and fractured my foot, just by walking though. Watch this below to see what sheer idiocy occurs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgMMKnGB3HY&feature=related
Tat's Tat
_I stayed in Vang Vieng for a week, two lost days confined to
hammock, with hands resting on rotten belly. Around the town there are some eye-catching
spots, not least the mountains, complete with caves, waterfalls and lagoons.
One of these mountains claimed my camera, as I climbed it trying to find a
lagoon, covering it in sweat and thus breaking it.
Luang Prabang is recognised by UNESCO as a heritage centre in northern Laos, and resides where the Mekong and Nam Khan rivers amalgamate. It is specifically famous for its temples and orange robed slapheads roam the streets in numbers. It is a pretty French-colonial style old town, with a huge night market which pretty much sells all the same tat. By this time, I’d about had my fill of French colonialism, temples and tat, so for me, it provided little. A recommendation was made (I don’t use a Lonely Planet, I use local knowledge and the valued opinions of people I like) to go to a traditional village where fabrics are made. I got lost, and never found it.
Heading out, a message from home revealed some bad news regarding a friend’s health. Heading to Utopia, a good bar with volleyball in the back, I met up with a group of people and proceeded to get blind drunk playing drinking Jenga. After this we managed to find a nightclub, and after this discovered the only place open at 1am is the bowling alley. It was an unusual sight, watching drunk foreigners and locals alike attempting to bowl whilst they can barely control their legs.
After, the people in the taxi assured me that I was at my guest house. Leaving the van, it was apparent that I was on the wrong side of the mountain the rises from the centre of the city. Over I went. At the top, in my annoyed and sedated state I decided to make way myself down the incline and ignore the convoluted path. Not long after beginning my ascent, I fell around 30 feet, and landed on my feet unscathed. By rights, I should have really hurt myself. No path at hand, perturbed, I realised by this time that I was beyond lost. Stumbling around in the dark for what must have been about an hour, I saw a light. On arrival, a lighted 15 foot golden Buddha shone out through the trees.
Luang Prabang is recognised by UNESCO as a heritage centre in northern Laos, and resides where the Mekong and Nam Khan rivers amalgamate. It is specifically famous for its temples and orange robed slapheads roam the streets in numbers. It is a pretty French-colonial style old town, with a huge night market which pretty much sells all the same tat. By this time, I’d about had my fill of French colonialism, temples and tat, so for me, it provided little. A recommendation was made (I don’t use a Lonely Planet, I use local knowledge and the valued opinions of people I like) to go to a traditional village where fabrics are made. I got lost, and never found it.
Heading out, a message from home revealed some bad news regarding a friend’s health. Heading to Utopia, a good bar with volleyball in the back, I met up with a group of people and proceeded to get blind drunk playing drinking Jenga. After this we managed to find a nightclub, and after this discovered the only place open at 1am is the bowling alley. It was an unusual sight, watching drunk foreigners and locals alike attempting to bowl whilst they can barely control their legs.
After, the people in the taxi assured me that I was at my guest house. Leaving the van, it was apparent that I was on the wrong side of the mountain the rises from the centre of the city. Over I went. At the top, in my annoyed and sedated state I decided to make way myself down the incline and ignore the convoluted path. Not long after beginning my ascent, I fell around 30 feet, and landed on my feet unscathed. By rights, I should have really hurt myself. No path at hand, perturbed, I realised by this time that I was beyond lost. Stumbling around in the dark for what must have been about an hour, I saw a light. On arrival, a lighted 15 foot golden Buddha shone out through the trees.
Buddha's Gonna Get Yer
_
Taking this as an omen, legs crossed in front of the statue,
Buddha and I conversed. I asked Buddha what I should ask him, which in my head
he replied: “The questions that only Buddha deserve from mankind are the only
ones worth answering. Only those that serve me deserve me.” When asked what
they should do otherwise, he replied: “Then let them accept themselves, for
existing is what we do.”
Home finally found, I left myself a note to ‘spread the word’, that ‘bells from temples, cats and dogs’ all followed me on the way home. At the bottom, a question: “When does paranoia become enlightenment?”
I went to bed absolutely convinced I was Buddhist. I woke up completely unconvinced. I went back to the site of the statue and my fall wondering if the Earth would move, and then surely I would know. Nope. There was nothing. Time to take it easy on the drink, methinks.
Outside of Luang Prabang a series of waterfalls at Kuang Si fall and form into pools a blue/grey/green more intense than Gabba. Our guide, who had three inches of thick, black hair growing from the mole on his face, tells us that the sandstone creates the colour. He also told us that the path to the top of the waterfall would take too long and isn’t worth doing. He was definitely wrong on that point. Half way up, we found a pool in which you could swim under the waterfall and come up in a cave behind, something I’ve wanted to do since I saw ‘Last of the Mohicans’. After saying ‘I will find you’, having a go on a ropeswing and eating some bananas the size of hobbit fingers, it was time to leave.
My final stop in Laos was its capital, Vientiane. It was supposed to be a quick stop, just two nights whilst I collected my extended Thai visa. I ended up staying over a week. Not because it’s a fascinating place, or a great party town, but because the group that formed there was so dynamic and fun I missed the consulate for the first two days, and whence weekend came it doors remained shut.
Home finally found, I left myself a note to ‘spread the word’, that ‘bells from temples, cats and dogs’ all followed me on the way home. At the bottom, a question: “When does paranoia become enlightenment?”
I went to bed absolutely convinced I was Buddhist. I woke up completely unconvinced. I went back to the site of the statue and my fall wondering if the Earth would move, and then surely I would know. Nope. There was nothing. Time to take it easy on the drink, methinks.
Outside of Luang Prabang a series of waterfalls at Kuang Si fall and form into pools a blue/grey/green more intense than Gabba. Our guide, who had three inches of thick, black hair growing from the mole on his face, tells us that the sandstone creates the colour. He also told us that the path to the top of the waterfall would take too long and isn’t worth doing. He was definitely wrong on that point. Half way up, we found a pool in which you could swim under the waterfall and come up in a cave behind, something I’ve wanted to do since I saw ‘Last of the Mohicans’. After saying ‘I will find you’, having a go on a ropeswing and eating some bananas the size of hobbit fingers, it was time to leave.
My final stop in Laos was its capital, Vientiane. It was supposed to be a quick stop, just two nights whilst I collected my extended Thai visa. I ended up staying over a week. Not because it’s a fascinating place, or a great party town, but because the group that formed there was so dynamic and fun I missed the consulate for the first two days, and whence weekend came it doors remained shut.
Angle Terry
_
Arriving at Croissant D’or (which would be our meeting point
quotidiennement
for the next week) with Daisy (who makes and sells cock
t-shirts at festivals), both rising out of introverted trances from sleeping
tablets, we quickly met Johnny (named so because he loves Johnny B Good by
Chuck Berry) and Claire (who gets disgusted at the idea of cheese in soups) who
are Parisians travelling separately. Later we met Beck (who loves people
watching), an Australian, and later still Bristolian Paul (who is really good
at getting free stuff, like his comfy Birkenstocks). After quickly bonding,
even rain couldn’t prevent us from having an excellent time together drinking,
dancing, laughing, movie watching, swimming and chatting for long periods each
morning at said café.
The ‘Buddha Park’ is a collection of hundreds of statues made or donated by people from all around the world collected in a space around an acre in size about 25km outside Vientiane. They are unusual, varying in style and some of the donations are huge. One particular temple has a mouth and face as the entrance and was more gothic or Zulu than Buddhist, with papier mache skulls and corpses inside. It makes a truly bizarre sight, and didn't make me feel even slightly more Buddhist.
The ‘Buddha Park’ is a collection of hundreds of statues made or donated by people from all around the world collected in a space around an acre in size about 25km outside Vientiane. They are unusual, varying in style and some of the donations are huge. One particular temple has a mouth and face as the entrance and was more gothic or Zulu than Buddhist, with papier mache skulls and corpses inside. It makes a truly bizarre sight, and didn't make me feel even slightly more Buddhist.
Peter Kim
_Peter Kim turns 20 on the 12th February. He is
proud of the date as he believes the combination of so many twos (20 12.02.12)
is a good omen. Peter is overly keen to learn about life in the UK,
in Korea, about
girls, football and other things, and he is a chatty 19 year old. His English
is pretty good, and he promises me that he has only been learning for three
months. He tells me he is a talented breakdancer, and has previously made his
own DVD and won competitions.
A year and a month ago, Peter lost both hands and his eyesight to an incident to an unexploded ordinance device. He manages to hold his walking stick in rounded arms. I met him at the Cope centre, an institution set up to help victims like Peter. During a nine year period, the United States dropped millions of bombs across Laos to ‘prevent the spread of communism’, making it the most bombed country in the world. It is estimated more than 5 million bombs were dropped in that campaign. Innumerable are unexploded in the country today, and victims like Peter can piece back their lives with help from this organisation, after having their lives torn to pieces.
A year and a month ago, Peter lost both hands and his eyesight to an incident to an unexploded ordinance device. He manages to hold his walking stick in rounded arms. I met him at the Cope centre, an institution set up to help victims like Peter. During a nine year period, the United States dropped millions of bombs across Laos to ‘prevent the spread of communism’, making it the most bombed country in the world. It is estimated more than 5 million bombs were dropped in that campaign. Innumerable are unexploded in the country today, and victims like Peter can piece back their lives with help from this organisation, after having their lives torn to pieces.
COPE Centre
_Whilst talking to Peter it is apparent he wants to talk
little of his own life. He asks if Korea
is as advanced as Thailand,
how many girlfriends I have had, etc. He tells me he is a superstar because of
his breakdancing, and still dances in a live show the centre puts on to spread
awareness. When pressed more about his past, he moans and states that he is
tired and that his information ‘may not be correct’. I feel he wants to tell
me, but as he tries to speak he mumbles and begins to get upset. When I leave,
his stumps wipe tears from his sightless eyes, yet he says a fond farewell.
When outside, I am not ashamed to admit it either, I cry too. Hard. It was the
hardest conversation I’ve ever had in my life.
That was the last place I visited in Laos. It has been my favourite country of the trip so far, and the most challenging. I leave with sadness, from leaving the people I met, the places I went, and from a small, free, bomb-awareness centre that had a massive impact. Not usually a sucker for a charity case, this compelled me, so please look into this, and give something if you can:
www.copelaos.org
And on that bombshell, peace out.
Oh, in Laos, I saw:
- 2 Turkeys having sex
- 3 Cows urinating
- 6 people giving the main road a wash (???)
- Countless people urinating in public
- The light
That was the last place I visited in Laos. It has been my favourite country of the trip so far, and the most challenging. I leave with sadness, from leaving the people I met, the places I went, and from a small, free, bomb-awareness centre that had a massive impact. Not usually a sucker for a charity case, this compelled me, so please look into this, and give something if you can:
www.copelaos.org
And on that bombshell, peace out.
Oh, in Laos, I saw:
- 2 Turkeys having sex
- 3 Cows urinating
- 6 people giving the main road a wash (???)
- Countless people urinating in public
- The light